Sounds like the name for the most lame super hero ever, right? "He'll bring you to justice...eventually". It is these kind of things that have been running through my head since the beginning of this Republican Primary cycle. As he was the runner-up in 2008, it had always made sense to me that Romney would be the favorite for this year's nomination. Now, I understand that his previous showing had no real indicator on this year, but it was something solid for him to build off. Once the field for the primary was set, it only further set me to believe that Romney was inevitable. Herman Cain? Please. A joke of a candidacy if there ever was one. He accomplishments in life included opening pizza places in impoverished areas and sexually harassing employees. Michele Bachmann? You're kidding me. Her Sarah Palin-y attitude was old and unelectable when Sarah Palin started it in 2008. Rick Perry actually had me convinced for a while that he had a shot as George Bush 2.0, but then he gave a drunk press conference and had the fastest crash of a political campaign since Howard Dean (Beeyaaawww!!). So we were left with what are the "real" candidates.
Ron Paul--the most ideologically pure of the candidates, also the most unelectable by the base he is trying to appeal to. He had several unsuccessful runs at the presidency as a third-party libertarian candidate in the past. Then the Tea Party happened and the GOP swallowed the libertarians, making him Republican by default. But this is also why he could never win; he's not a Republican. He appeals to large elements of the tea party, and almost nothing else.
Newt Gingrich--I think the phoenix is a more appropriate animal moniker for this guy. His political career has risen and fallen a ridiculous number of times, as has his campaign. I thought originally he might be able to put a challenge to the Rominator, but the early desertion of his top aids had me convinced he was dead in the water. However, he somehow managed to rally and won Georgia on Super Tuesday. Unfortunately, almost nobody else likes him, and he was been in politics way too long and has way to much dirt.
Rick Santorum--I have a lot to say about this guy, so I'm going to save it for a later post in which I can go in-depth. I'll leave it here to say that he is surviving by soaking up anti-Romney votes and Evangelical Christians.
Willard Mitt Romney--The only people that seem to like him are other big business types. He is a well-oiled machine of money, Obama opposition, befuddling stage appearances, and comments that make you wonder if he has ever had to go to a store and buy anything himself. No one has wanted to elect him, but almost everyone realizes that he will win. His campaign has the heat, swiftness, and momentum of a glacier. It may take way too long and destroy everything in the process, but damn it he'll get here eventually. Willard has always been playing to the general election, trying his best to avoid discussing his competitors at all and focusing only on Obama, and it apparently works. No one likes him, but he has the best shot. To be fair, I think this is deceptive, because he'll get destroyed in a general election by a President who's healthcare legislation is actually less liberal than the one Romney passed in Massachusetts. In any case, his hostile takeover of the Republican Party proceeds with all the haste of the weathering of the Pyramids.